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The difference between cats and dogs

2006-05-24 3 min read Web marco

Stolen from one of them funny sites…

DOGS DIARY… 7 am – Oh boy! A walk! My favourite!

8 am – Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!

9 am – Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!

Noon – Oh boy! The yard! My favourite!

2 pm – Oh boy! A car ride! My favourite!

3 pm – Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!

4 pm – Oh boy! Playing ball! My favourite!

6 pm – Oh boy! Welcome home Mum! My favourite!

7 pm – Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favourite!

8 pm – Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!

9 pm – Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favourite!

11pm – Oh boy! Sleeping in my people’s bed! My favourite!


Day 483 of my captivity…

My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.

The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction that I get from clawing their furniture.

Tomorrow I will eat another houseplant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded – must try this at the top of
the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair. I must remember to try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, that did not work according to plan…

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing “allergies.” I must learn what this is and how I may use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches;

* The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.
* The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

But I have patience, I can wait, it is only a matter of time……