We got there

The flight was uneventful. We stopped in Dallas, where the winter was not as clement as I now know it to be. A clear day, a cold day, and we were not prepared. The next flight was on time, more peanuts served, more desserts shoved over the seats back to me, unable to sleep for excitement.

It was night when we landed. And nothing distinguishes Frankfurt from Honolulu at night. The Germans even have a saying that goes: “At night all cats are grey.” Smart people, aren’t they?

How Did I Get There?

{moszoomimglink:Gisela und Marco, nettes Bild} It all began in 1992. I was finishing up my Master’s Thesis in Physics at the University of Aachen, and got a phone call from Southern Germany. My two aunts had decided they wanted to visit their friend Doris and needed a … well … guide and translator and caretaker and entertainer.

Since I was too busy to visit them during the year, they would use my services only for one week, and stay themselves for two. All expenses paid, though, and the trip would start in the middle of the dreadful German winter, lifting me away from snow and cold and dreary skies and catapult me into what I hoped would be a tropical paradise.

And If I Get Sick?

Nobody ever wants to get sick, and for sure not on vacation. But if you are in trouble, you will want to have read what to expect in advance.

Western Europe, to which Italy belongs, is highly civilized. This means the medical system is very well established, with the usual structure of first aid services, local hospitals and major health centers that we know from the States.

Treatment is usually quite good, although nurses are severely underpaid and traditionally rely on the families of patients to pitch in with the assistance. Rarely will you find anything that doesn’t look right or feel right. And if you do, try to get out of the place and get into the next one.

Talking With Your Hands

Or: A Primer On Non-Verbal Communication

You’ve all heard that Italians talk with their hand. Now if that’s not a tourist-friendly way of communicating! Just learn to do as Italians do, and the language barrier is something for the myths of community college courses.

As any old culture, Italy has its very own style of communication. You will have a much better experience if you know what the little tell-tale signs are (gestures and actions), especially if you are not an extrovert person to begin with. I have had friends coming back telling me that they hadn’t met anyone in Italy, as much as they tried. But it turned out that they just had not known how to approach Italians.

On the Road

Or: Traveling in Italy.

Personally, my favorite way of experiencing Italy is by bike. You can travel leisurely, purposefully and get a workout at the same time. And the distances are not too daunting: you can do the Milan to Rome race in just two weeks.

Ok, that was a nice joke, wasn’t it? Cars, let’s start with cars. Sincerely, you have to be quite an aggressive driver here in the States to like the traffic in Italy. Cars zip around ignoring speed limits, rushing boldly into each other at intersections. Soon you won’t wonder any more why so many cars are dented all over. My advice: stay away from the cities, but take a car whenever you need to visit the countryside. Car rental companies abound, and you’ll get decent prices if you book ahead of time. If you just show up at the airport counter, it is going to be a real pain for your bank account.

A Little Activity

Oh, what fun it is to play beach volleyball in Rimini! Especially as a possibly blond(e) American! The crowd will be in awe of the foreigners, the americani, and will lift them to the skies win or lose.

Sporting activities in Italy are like everywhere else. There are fewer golf courses and tennis courts, and they are quite expensive. But if you want to bike – what better place than the hills of Tuscany (ask you legs after two weeks, and they’ll tell you a hundred better places!)? If you want to swim – aren’t the waters of the Mediterranean too invitin to resists?

Enough Already! Where Is the Boutique?

Well, where is it? Italy is one of those places where the shopper has only a few things in mind: clothes, cars, shoes and leather in general, food.

Bad news: most food is off-limits and most cars are too heavy for the overhead compartment. I have seen desperate men eating entire salami on their way back, since fresh food is taboo. And I have seen helpless men roam around at their hometown DMV, trying to get their imported Ferraris through inspection.

Let's Talk About Art

Now that our stomachs are full, let’s stroll to the best art in town… And where would that be?

Too much art can be. And surely you’ll understand that once an enthusiastic travel companion drags you through all the sites in you guide book. Don’t let that happen to you: focus on something you particularly enjoy, and let the other stuff to the other guys.

And still, there are some jewels you just can’t do without. Let me enumerate what my ignorant self remembers, and do help me with more – email link on the homepage, anyone?

What Can Go Wrong?

Italians love guests, just like most peoples in the Mediterranean. And guest is whoever is not a regular and is invited. Hence, you will be guests as you enter Italy.

Now, guests are supposed to know how to behave, and if you won’t know the rules, you won’t be a guest for long. So watch yourself and make sure you avoid at least these easily spotted pitfalls.

First, avoid tourist traps. No matter how hungry you are, no matter how uncomfortable it seems to order in Italian – avoid the restaurant in front of the Vatican that shouts on large billboards: “English Spoken”. If you do, you’ll deserve the lousy food and the exhorbitant prices. Rule of thumb: if you see Italians, hear Italian, then you are allowed to go in.

Pizza and the Rest of the Day

Afternoon is reserved for the merenda, yet another snack. By now, you should wonder how those Italians manage to stay fit and good-looking. I don’t know either, it seems to be all about food, all the time. Merenda, in any case, is a Latin words that literally means: that has to be earned. So it’s customary for parents to give their children a snack in the afternoon if they have been behaving and doing their homework. Schooling is very important in a country with high unemployment and more art and architecture than anywhere else.